


Ballare

by AnotherWriterWhoWrites



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 17:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/700914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherWriterWhoWrites/pseuds/AnotherWriterWhoWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Romano didn't know when he could no longer hate Germany. Maybe it was when he found the hidden secret that Germany was actually a girl and he was entwined with her secret. And slowly love starts to bloom on the dance floor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Romano glances at Germany once more attempting to bring as little attention to himself as possible.

He had no idea when this had happened. When he could no longer bring himself to insult Germany to the ground with threats.

Actually he had a pretty good idea when. It was a few months ago. A few months ago when he had stormed to Germanys house in anger and ready to curse the man out to the ground. He had walked up the stairs as quietly as he was able to to Germany’s bedroom where he heard the other man. He had nearly knocked the door down from the force of his kick, mouth at the ready to start his yelling.

Germany had straightened up, he had been undressing, in surprise and looked at him. Before he hid his chest Romano had seen what Germany was hiding. An enlarged chest. 

One that Romano only saw in women.

Germany was a woman.

The blood drained from Romano’s face and his insults and anger went with the blood. He couldn’t bring himself to scream like he wanted to at Germany.

They talked about it a few times. He learned that besides himself only Prussia knew the truth about Germany. Not even Feliciano knew. 

At least that destroyed the thought that his brother and Germany had been sleeping together.

She had hid it since the beginning in order to be able to do as she wished. To fight and to learn because of the olden times. To have rights that was mainly denied to women.

Romano had to admit that she hid it excellently. Apparently not even France knew the truth with all his claims of ‘Loving the human body the most.’

At first he liked being in on the secret on the inside. He liked knowing something that few people knew, not even his brother knew.

However.

That all changed when he had tried to insult Germany once more. The usual ones of staying away from his brother to simply cursing him out because he was there.

Except she was there.

When he had come to curse her she simply tuned from what she was doing and gave him her attention like she had always done.

When their eyes locked he remembered suddenly when he had accidentally walked in on her changing. The hidden body underneath clothes, leather, and cloth. Her voice that was lowered when she explained it all to him. Soft and somewhat gentle. The small smile she had given him at the end of the conversation.

The promise he had given to never tell a single soul about the truth of her gender.

He hadn’t been able to do it. He couldn’t curse a woman out. He couldn’t insult her. In fact he was close to apologizing for all those times he had insulted her.

Instead he blushed heavily, swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, ran back home

The days and nights when he and Feliciano were in the same house he was subjected to listening to his brother talking about how wonderful Germany was, how **he** always rescued Italy from England, France, and America. How **he** was always so patient with Italy, how **he** was so amazing and how **he** was this and that.

And each time he sneered and scoffed at his brother. Feliciano thought it was because he hated Germany.

No it was rather the fact that he was laughing on the inside about his brother’s lack of knowledge. He was almost jubilant at knowing something Feliciano didn’t. 

And now he could no longer look at Germany the same way. He couldn’t insult. He couldn’t scream. Some times he needed to hold himself back from even flirting with her even!

However he could hold himself back. He could now easily swallow the insults. He could even look at her without blushing.

All that changed however when for the first time he had to go on a mission alone with Germany.


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay.” Germany said standing out of the wreck that was once their plane. “I have a simple question. We were on our way towards France for a surprise attack and to see the situation there.” she turned to Romano who was pulling his suitcase out of the wreck before going over to him and helping him tug it out. “So does someone want to explain to me how in the world we ended up in your part of the land?”

Romano grunted as they pulled the case out and set it on the ground. “Hell if I know.”

Germany crossed her arms and looked around. Her eyes glazed over and she began to mumble to herself. “France is there. Italy is there. But…how in the world?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I am mostly trying to figure out who we got from all the way from up here.” she said holding her hand up on an imaginary map. She then brought her hand down a few feet. “To all the way down here.”

Romano shrugged. “I don’t know and quite frankly I don’t really care. We’re not hurt, that’s all I need to know for now.”

Germany nodded before tugging her own backpack out of the wreckage and putting it on. She looked expectantly at Romano.

“What?”

Germany sighed. “Romano. Where are we?”

“Italy.”

“Where in Italy Romano?”

“The southern part.”

Germany nodded. “Exactly. This is you Romano. I’ve been to the northern part or some of it at least. I have no idea of we’re to go here. Just help me get to the train station and I’ll go on my way to my home.”

An internal struggle appeared at those words inside of Romano. It’s Germany. But Germany is also a girl. But it’s still Germany. But it’s a girl. Germany. Girl. Germany. Girl.

Before his mind could catch up with his actions he grabbed Germany by the arm and started to tug her, gently though, towards a road that was familiar to him.

“Romano?” she asked. 

Without looking at her he said “We’re going to my house. You can stay there for tonight. I don’t mind.”

“You don’t have to Romano.”

“I know.” he said closing his eyes. “I want to.”

The two walked in silence for a few minutes until Germany said in an amused tone of voice. “You can let go of my arm now, im going to follow you.”

Romano noticed that he had indeed not let go of her arm since he had taken it. His face reddening he quickly let go.

The two walked in silence a while longer until Germany broke it. 

“Your part of the country is different from Feliciano’s.” she said looking around the town.

He had heard this many times, he knew the way it went. “Yeah I know. His is better and happier.”

“Mm no. Yours is more…real if anything. Feliciano’s seems fake, hiding something over a cheery mask and hiding from the rest of the world.” she looked around his buildings once more. “However yours is more real. I don’t like masks, while the northern half is more like a…I think the word is a mirage yours is more…like reality.”

She looked over to him and smiled. “The northern is more carefree and the south seems to be the one that works for what he wants. I honestly do like that.”

The blush on Romano’s face intensified. She had complimented his part of the country while at the same time talking about Feliciano’s part of it. And in her way she had insulted Feliciano’s part of the land.

“I didn’t know that you and Feliciano had different houses.” she commented.

Romano grunted. “We are separate beings so therefore we have separate houses. I just spent the most time there because he’s closer to the other countries. Especially now when we‘re in a war it’s better to be closer to…the other allies.”

“Why didn’t you say your allies?” Germany asked quietly.

Romano didn’t answer. Instead he choose to point out a few restaurants and other points of interest. Germany didn’t mention the change in subject and instead choose to listen to his words.

Only after hearing her voice for some time did he realize that she had dropped her lower voice and instead was using her regular feminine voice.

That realization was not helping the blush on his face go away.

Finally they arrived at his house. It wasn’t that magnificent but it was comfortable and large enough for a few people.

Silently he took the keys out of his pocket and opened it and held the door open for Germany to enter.

She smiled at him as she entered his house.

He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat as he followed her.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Romano took a deep breath and knocked on the door to the bathroom.

“It’s open.” she called out. He opened the door and entered.

Romano dug his fingers into the soft cotton of the shirt and boxers. “I…I um got you something to wear to bed.”

Germany peeked her head out from the shower curtain. Her wet hair, as short as it was, was plastered against her head and face giving her a slightly softer look than usual.

Thankfully the shower curtain covered her from the neck down. “You didn’t have to do that you know.”

“I…I don’t think you have anything in your bag for comfort like this. I’m guessing it’s all military and all that shit.” Romano stuttered. “I…I wanted to.”

Germany smiled at him. “Thank you.”

He nodded before placing the clothes on the sinks counter before running out of the bathroom his face ablaze.

The moment he saw Germany leave the bathroom with the clothes he had put for her on and toweling her short hair dry he immediately walked by her and straight into the shower, barely getting his clothes off, and turned on the cold water across his body.

This was going to be an interesting night.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Romano walked out of the bathroom toweling his own hair dry with another towel. He found Germany in the room he gave her for the night, surprisingly ironing her uniform.

When she saw him she smiled hesitantly before holding up his iron. “I hope you don’t mind that I‘m using this.”

Mutely Romano shook his head.

Germany nodded before turning back to ironing her uniform; she occasionally hummed a lyric from some song. Her old national anthem he realized.

“Don’t you have a new one now?” he asked her.

She nodded. “While the new one is…alright I suppose. That one was very important to me, I‘ll always sing it.”

Testing his luck he decided to ask another question. “Why are you ironing/”

“To keep my uniform nice and neat. If there’s something I don’t like it’s a messy uniform.” she said.

She looked at him before saying “I owe you some answers for keeping this a secret. And I’m sure you have some questions.”

Romano thought for a moment. “How long?”

“A few years after I was born and got to a suitable age where I could somewhat understand the world around me.” she easily answered.

“The voice?”

“What about it?”

“You don’t ever mess up or accidentally use the wrong one?”

“No. I’ve used this one for so long I started to forget what my regular voice sounded like.” she answered.

“Do you want to go out?” the question left his lips before he even realized what he was asking.

Germany turned and looked at him.

“What?”

Romano swallowed the lump that had taken residence in his throat for the past day before repeating himself. “Do you want to go out? To a restaurant, I don’t know about you but I am hungry and I doubt either one of us is in the mood to cook. Or we could go dancing or something. That’s popular with my people now.” Romano kept talking and talking inwardly hoping she would decline and spare him further embarrassment.

Germany looked at him incredulously. “Are…are you being serious.”

 _“No! No I‘m not! Forget it!”_ he wanted to scream.

Instead he nodded and quietly said “Yes I am.”

Germany still looked at him doubtfully. “I don’t think I have anything I can wear to something like that.”

“I can fix that.” Romano said.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Germany fixed her collar in the mirror and tightened the belt. She gave another hesitant look at the mirror.

For the first time in years she was about to go out without her bindings on, the entire world could see that she was a woman.

Well minus the hair that fitted a man and not a woman and the fact that women didn’t wear pants like she was at the moment.

“Do the clothes fit?” Romano asked from the other side of the door.

“Yes they do.” she called back. She slipped her iron cross necklace under the shirt and her papers into her jacket pocket, that was the only thing that was hers that she was wearing at the moment.

Romano meanwhile was a wreck on the other side of the door as he paced up and down the hallway with his arms behind his back.

Was he taking her out on date? Was this a date? Why was he blushing so much? Why was she causing this pit in the bottom of his stomach and for that pit to be turning over and over again? What was happening to him? Was he becoming sick? That wouldn’t make sense, his economy was good and he had been at perfect health so far.

His thoughts were interrupted when Germany’s bedroom door opened and she appeared. She was wearing one of Spain’s suits that he had forgotten the last time he was here and it thankfully fitted her perfectly. Including…

She had let the bindings go. He swallowed heavily when he noted that. She really was a woman.

“Romano? Are you alright?” she asked.

Romano nodded before holding out his arm.

“Shall we?”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“That was I think the most fun I had in years.” Germany said as they walked through the town.

Romano smiled back at her without even realizing it. They had ate at one of the more popular restaurants, the only disagreement they had was over the bill and then they agreed to split it fifty-fifty, they had danced at that same restaurant. He was able to see and hear how some of the people there were talking about his companion and the fact that she looked so much like a man.

And for the first time in years Romano didn’t have the urge to yell and scream at them. In fact he couldn’t have brought himself to care what they thought about him.

It was a warm and somewhat satisfying feeling.

The evening had flown by for some reason, before they even knew it the hour was nearing midnight and they needed to return to his house.

“I don’t think I ever danced like that.” Germany said.

“It would’ve been better if you had let me lead.” Romano grumbled playfully.

In truth he didn’t mind that he needed to show her almost the entire dance. He had enjoyed teaching her.

“All I know is from a male perspective so you’ll have to be patient Herr Vargas.” she said.

That was another thing. She had almost constantly referred to some things in either a German accent or in the German language itself. The language that nearly always drove Romano up the wall, excluding French and Spanish of course, had started to sound cute from her.

Germany. Cute. Those two words never go together.

But apparently they do.

They were walking arm-in-arm he noticed. Somewhere from the road from the restaurant and on their slow walk back to his house his arm had slid around hers and neither of them let go.

“Hey.” he suddenly said.

“Mm?”

“What’s your name?” he asked.

Germany looked amused. “Ludwig.”

Romano shook his head. “Your real name.”

Germany smiled. “Louise.”

“Louise.” he repeated.

 _‘What would she do if he kissed her?’_ he suddenly thought.

No. That was out of the line completely. Kissing Germany was not something he could or would ever do.

No matter how red those lips were or soft looking.

He immediately looked away from Louise and instead focused on two things. The first was making sure they were going the right way home. 

And the other was the warmth of her arm in his.

A pleasant feeling arose in his stomach this time. And unlike the others before it, it was a soothing and nice yet foreign feeling.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Thanks Romano for tonight and everything.” she said.

Romano nodded. “My…my pleasure.”

She smiled and started to enter her room.

“Louise.” he called to her.

She turned back and faced him.

“Listen. I know, actually I don’t but still, that sometimes being someone your not is tiring and if you ever feel the need to get away from your male persona and embrace your female side then come here. To South Italy. To me. We‘ll go dancing; eat at a restaurant, whatever you want. You can be a girl here.” Romano said.

“I don’t need to be a girl Romano; I need to be a fighter.” Louise said.

“Who says you can’t be both?” he challenged.

“Society.” she shot back.

Okay that was a good comeback. Romano shook his head and said “Then whenever you need to get away from everything else. I won’t ask questions about that or anything.”

Louise slowly smiled. “Alright I‘ll think about it. Thank you Romano.”

“Lovino.” he corrected.

“Lovino.” she repeated. A fire went down his spine from her accent when she spoke his name.

“Buona notte Louise.” he said.

“Guten nacht Lovino.” she said as they went into their respective bedrooms.

 _“A man would’ve kissed her goodnight.”_ a voice in his head said.

 _“Shut up.”_ Romano said back to the voice as he headed towards his bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Time passed. The war raged on continuingly throughout Europe and Asia. Germany became more and more occupied with the going on of her homeland and what needed to be done.

But also that increased the need to get away to somewhere else even for a single night.

That’s what Romano kept saying to himself as he prepared the guest room for Germany once more. And that was the only reason he kept offering his home. Because that was quite literally the only place she was able to go to where she didn’t have to hide a single thing.

And the only reason that he was letting her stay was because he was a gentleman. That was the only reason. Not because he had started to look forward to those nights where it was just him and Germany. Under one roof. With no one else in the house.

He tried to stop the blush starting to cover his face as he quickly straightened the bed sheets and threw on the blankets and pillows.

He didn’t know when he started to look forward to these nights when Germany would come over. They would either go out again or they would cook something together. After they ate regardless if it was at his house or at a restaurant they would dance. Most of the time Romano had to teach her the dance when they did a new one and sometimes she started to lead the dance. There was a startling thought in all of this.

He didn’t mind a single minute of it.

He didn’t mind that he would have to patiently teach her everything. He didn’t mind that she spoke German, and refused to acknowledge the little voice in his head telling him to learn at least some basic phrases in that language. He didn’t mind when she tried to lead those dances. He didn’t mind any of it.

There was something that he did mind though.

Something weird was happening to him. Now whenever he saw Germany, it didn’t matter if she was in her male persona or female persona, his heart would start to beat faster and his stomach would turn itself inside out with knots. The last few times he had to hold himself back from hugging her or even kissing the back of her hand.

He ran his fingers through his hair as he glanced at the bedroom once more and gave a nod.

Everything seemed in order. Now to simply check on the dinner he was going to surprise Germany with.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
After dinner. After the next dance lesson. They had somehow found themselves on top of Romano’s roof, looking at the stars, and simply talking about anything they felt like.

“The way my brother acts some of the time.” she was saying. “It’s almost like he wants the others to find out I‘m a girl.”

“I‘m sure it’s not that bad.”

“Pulling down, or at least trying to, my pants, groping me where some nonexistent genitalia is, and doing all sorts of inappropriate things is bad Lovino.”

She suddenly gave him a look. “Did you really wear a dress when you were younger?”

Romano blushed. “Wait! How did you…”

She grinned. “Prussia told me. Really? A dress?”

“Sh-shut up!”

“I mean I never even wore a dress in my life.”

“I said shut up!”

“Or what?”

“Or…or…”

Germany smiled once more but gratefully changed the subject. “Have you ever been to Japan?”

“The country or have I ever talked to him?”

“The country. It’s so nice there. And the people are so respectful.” she said. “I had to go there a few times including the time when we agreed to be allies and it was so wonderful there. A different kind of beauty that I am used to. You should go there.”

“Maybe one day we can go together.” the words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Germany laughed. “Maybe. I have to go there in a few months anyway, you can come with me.”

Romano slowly nodded. “I think I would like that.”

Germany lay back on the roof and stared at the stars. She slowly raised her hand and pointed to a cluster. “I recognize that one, its Orion.”

Romano glanced at the stars himself and squinted his eyes. “Where?”

She pointed once again. “See those three bright stars? That makes up his belt. You just have to connect the lines.”

Tilting his head to the side Romano did see it, slightly. This time he raised his hand. “That one is Sirius.”

“The brightest star in the sky. There’s the little dipper.”

“The big dipper.”

“Ursa Major.”

“Ursa Minor.”

“I think that one is Draco, can’t be too sure of it though.”

“Um can’t help you with that one. Is that Bellatrix or Nymphodora?”

“Um neither. I think that’s Regulus.”

“Oh. I thought Regulus was over there.”

“You’re thinking of Scorpius.”

“Didn’t know you knew so much about stars.” 

“I was really interested at one point in my life. When I‘m interested in something I tend to go a bit overboard with learning more about it.”

Silence, however a comfortable silence, fell once again.

Romano glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. She was wearing a pair of pants that were slightly worn enough to be comfortable, she had told him that she got all her pants and shirts privately tailored so that they hid her true figure. She hadn’t bothered to gel back her hair and it now lay freely.

“Have you ever thought of growing your hair out?” he asked. Lately around her the words have been exploding out of his mouth without letting him think about them.

Germany started slightly and ran her hand through her hair. “I have thought about it a few times but I have always decided not to, I would too much like a girl for comfort.”

“Some male nations have long hair.”

She nodded. “I know, according to Prussia our grandfather had long hair as well. I‘ll grow it out one day, when I let the entire world know I‘m a girl.”

“You think that day will ever come?”

“Maybe yes, maybe no. No one knows what the future holds Lovino.”

Morning comes too soon. Lovino is stretching and yawning as he walked towards the kitchen ready to make either some pancakes or eggs.

He passes Germany’s room and opens the door. The question of what she wants for breakfast is ready on his lips.

The room is empty. Her suitcase is gone. Her bed is made as if no one had ever slept in it.

She had most likely left in the middle of the night, maybe even after they had talked on the roof.

Feeling slightly empty he closes the door behind him and continues to the kitchen in silence. 

Breakfast was a silent and lonely affair.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
He couldn’t go to her. It would bring up too much suspicion if he one day avoided her like the plague and the other he was looking for her. So he had to wait a week until they would be able to talk. 

There was a knock on his door.

He sticks out his head from the kitchen and calls “It’s open.”

The door opens and reveals a military-clad Germany.

She unbuttoned her jacket and threw down her suitcase. It was obvious that she was angry. She kept muttering random German words under her breath.

“You okay?” he asked wiping his hands on his apron as he stepped out of the kitchen.

She glanced up at him scowl in place. “Your brother. Sometimes. I cannot stand him.”

And like that all the anger he had from last week from her leaving in the middle of the night with saying goodbye disappeared.

“How so?” he asked trying not to seem to giddy.

“You want me to list everything or just the main things?”

“Which one do you want the most?”

“Well if I list everything then that’s all we‘re going to be able to do this weekend.” she said shrugging out of her jacket.

Romano hid a smile before turning back to her and said “I‘m all ears.”

“Well first of all his constant need for siestas. Everywhere no matter what. I caught him napping three feet away from the border where the enemy was stationed for crying out loud!”

“He is almost constantly naked, it’s worse than France at some points! I was having a meeting with my boss and he barges in without a single stitch of clothes on. In front of my boss!”

“Then his ability to fall into the most simple of traps. He got caught by America, England, and France. In one day. And they sent him back. And he still got caught again!”

“Our trainings as well. I‘m trying to toughen him up a little bit. So he wouldn’t so scrawny and maybe he would be able to fight back. Or at least something! Instead he runs off in the middle of training, sometimes doesn’t even show up, and I don’t even know what else!”

Germany sighs and sits down on his couch. “I just don’t think he understands that we are in the middle of a war. Nothing I say can get through to that thick skull through all that pasta and lord knows what else he has stuck in there.”

Germany sighed again and leaned back into the couch. She pressed her hands over her eyes. “I honestly don’t know what I am going to do with your brother, he is driving my insane. And I didn’t even get to the crawling into my bed in the middle of the night naked.”

“He actually does that?”

“Mm hmm. First time I woke up in the middle of the night and felt someone in my bed I grabbed my gun and started to shoot until I ran out of bullets. And then I heard him crying and pleading for his life.”

Germany sighed and slumped forward. “All in all. It has been a very interesting week.”

Romano nodded and took another look her face. Bags were clear under her eyes.

“Have you been getting any sleep at all lately?”

“Some.”

Romano took a deep breath. “We have all weekend. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. After that forget our dance lesson, you need the sleep.”

Germany shook her head. “It’s alright, I‘m used to it.”

Romano crossed his arms. “My house, my rules.”

Germany stared at him for a moment before tilting her head back and laughing. Romano fought a smile himself.

“That’s a new one.” she said. “Hearing you give an order like that.”

“I have my moments.”

“I‘ll say.” she was still smiling. “Alright then, in honor of the fact that it is your house I will listen to you. But don’t get used to that alright soldier?”

Romano gave her a salute. “Yes ma‘m.”

“Sir.”

“Yes sir.”

Still fighting a smile Romano walked back to his kitchen, followed by Germany. Now in a somewhat familiar routine Romano continued cooking and Germany set the table.

He glanced at Germany secretly. He watched as she smiled slightly as she set the table.

That was weird. His stomach was doing those somersaults again. 

She caught his gaze and smiled at him. 

And now the usual triple flips.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
He had decided to surprise her. He had bought her a new suit, which he had tailored himself like her other clothes. A nice and somewhat expensive suit that he hoped she liked. 

She did have conferences to go to and some of those parties their bosses liked to throw; she needed to dress nicely after all.

He opened the door to her room quietly and stepped in. Luckily the floor was covered in carpets so his footsteps didn’t make a single sound.

He gently placed the suit on a chair in the room, she would see it he was certain.

He turned back to the door ready to leave. 

Movement in the bed caught his eye.

Before he knew what he was doing he walked to the bed and looked at Germany.

She was so…relaxed he noted as he gazed at her. She relaxed slightly when they danced or ate but here she was complexly relaxed. 

She slept curled up he also noted. Her knees were brought to her chest. One of her hands was under the pillow and the other was lying on top of the pillow close to her. She was cocooned in the blankets.

Before he even realized it his own face had relaxed and he was smiling slightly at her. 

He touched his face with the tips of his fingers. When was the last time he had smiled? 

He glanced once more at Germany, for some reason he started to blush.

He walked out the room. Time to get some professional help with this.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Spain looked up from the basket of tomatoes he had been harvesting and grinned.

“Roma! It’s been a while since you came to see Me.” he said happily.

Romano nodded before taking the other end of the basket and helping the other man carry it into the house.

Spain looked surprised but pleased at the help as they carried all the baskets into the house.

Once they were done Spain looked at Romano. “Thanks for helping me Roma.”

“Whatever bastard.”

“Now then, what do you need help with?”

Romano sputtered, how did Spain read him so easily. “What makes you think that I need your help with something?”

“Well let’s see. First of all you came here, that never happens unless you want to talk about something. You helped me bring in the tomatoes, another thing that I don’t think you’ve done since you were a kid. And you have that look on your face ‘I-need-to-talk-to-someone-but-I-don’t-want-to-seem-like-I-like-anyone-like-a-friend-so-I-have-no-idea-what-to-do’ look on your face. And last but not least I raised you and I know everything about you.”

Spain finished counting off on his fingers and smiled at his old charge.

“Now why don’t you tell Boss all about it?”

Romano chewed on his bottom lip for a moment and contemplated his options. Seeing nothing else he sighed and said “Lately…something weird’s been happening.”

“Weird how?” Spain asked as he prepared tea.

“Well…” he could talk about this with Spain right? The man raised him. He could trust him. 

He took a deep breath and continued. “Well lately…my stomach has been tying itself into knots over and over again. And I get these really weird urges sometimes.”

“If I didn’t know any better I would say you were going through puberty.”

“Spain this is serious.” Romano nearly snarled.

Spain held his hands up. “Okay, okay. I apologize. Please. Go on.”

Romano took another deep breath. “Like I said. All these weird feelings and everything, my mind is upside down and I have no idea what to do.”

Spain glanced over his shoulder. “Do these feelings come up when you’re around another person?”

“Yeah they do.”

“Who?”

“I‘m not telling you that you bastard!”

Spain held his hands up again. “Fine, fine. Please. Continue.”

Romano threw another glare at him before sighing and saying “And lately when I‘m around that person I feel…heck I don’t even know what I feel! It’s just all mashed up like…I don’t even know what!” 

Spain was grinning Romano saw. He narrowed his eyes.

“What?”

Spain put down the teabags and stepped forward to Romano. He then took the others hands into his. “Roma.”

“What you bastard?”

“I think…you’re in love!” he nearly sang out.

“I‘M IN WHAT?!”

Feliciano looked up from the pot of pasta he had been stirring in surprise. He had been cooking dinner at Germany’s house while he was finishing some paperwork his boss needed.

“Ve. What was that Germany?” he asked.

Germany had looked up from his work in surprise as well and looked around. He then walked to the window and stuck his head outside and looked around once more.

“I have no idea Italy.” he said shrugging.


	4. Chapter 4

Spain flinched from the yell but didn’t let go of Romano’s wrists or let the smile go off his face.

“I said you’re in love Roma.” Spain repeated.

Romano pulled his wrists out of Spain’s hands.

“No! I refuse to believe in that! I refuse to believe that I am in love with Germa…” his eyes widened as he realized his slip.

Spain’s grin, if possible, widened, “Germa? Could you possibly mean Germany?”

Romano shook his head frantically. “No! I didn’t mean that! I didn’t mean that!”

“I think you did Roma.” Spain sang.

“No! No!”

“Romano loves Germany. Romano loves Germany.”

“Okay are you five years old or something?” Romano nearly shrieked.

“Okay, okay.” Spain said putting his hands up. “You can’t deny though that you said his name.”

“It was a slip.” Romano snarled.

“Okay.” Spain said turning back to the now whistling kettle.

“Out of curiosity, how is Germany?” he asked casually.

“Fine. A bit stressed from the war but hey that’s war.” Romano said before his eyes widened. “Hey!”

“What?”

“Don’t try to trick me like that!”

“I have no idea what you mean.” Spain said innocently. “Anyway, I was thinking of visiting Germany soon.”

“I wouldn’t. He’s really busy lately and has a lot of meetings to go to.” Romano said. “I said stop that!”

“Stop what Roma? And by the way does Germany like dancing?” Spain asked.

“Kinda. He doesn’t know that many dances but the ones he knows he is pretty good at it.” Romano said without thinking once more. “I thought I said stop that!”

Spain grinned again. “I‘m proving you wrong Roma.”

“Why must you do that?”

“To show you the truth.”

“What truth?”

“Roma. I‘m going to ask you a few questions. And for once I want you to answer them truthfully alright?” Spain asked sitting down at the table and putting cups of tea in front of them.

“…okay.”

“Let’s say hypothetically that you are in love with Germany.”

“Which I‘m not.”

“That’s why I said hypnotically. Let’s say that you were in love with Germany. You would feel something in your stomach.”

Romano placed a hand on his stomach.

“In your chest.”

The hand rose to his chest.

“Your tongue would start to get tied up and sometimes you can’t help but say some things.”

The hand covered his mouth.

“Silences start to become comfortable. There is no need to fill it with meaningless and unimportant conversation. You start to notice the little things. Unimportant and insignificant things that suddenly seem important and significant. You notice small things like how they do their coffee or tea in the morning to how they sleep at night. Little things like that.”

Spain leaned forward. “Now think about all that. And think about that person you were talking about earlier. Do you think that you’re in love with them?”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Germany hummed slightly as she looked over another piece of paperwork. 

“West. You’re smiling again.” Prussia said.

Germany touched her mouth gently. She was smiling. 

“Sorry.” she said before returning to her work.

She still felt Prussia’s gaze on her. 

“You’ve been spending a lot of times at Romano’s place.” he commented.

Germany didn’t answer.

“Look.” he sighed. “I‘m happy for you even if you think I‘m not. I just want you to be careful.”

“Be careful of what?”

Prussia sighs. “Look he knows that you’re a girl right?”

Germany nodded.

“He can use that against you to do whatever he wants.”

Germany snorted. “He wouldn’t do that.”

“Not to mention the fact that I think you fallen for him.” Prussia continued ignoring her.

“I am not falling for Lovino.” Germany objected.

“Really?” Prussia asked skeptically. “Well then let’s look at the clues.”

He raised his hand and put out one finger. “You go to his house every weekend and you sleep there and I don’t even know what else you do.”

“We dance.” Germany injected. “That’s all.”

“You call him by his human first name.”

“He said I could, I call nations that I am friends with by their human first name.”

“You dance with him, I don’t know about anyone else but I only danced at balls and I was usually forced to. I only danced with people voluntarily that I really liked.”

“Like me.”

“You’re my sister, that’s different. You’re really protective over him.”

“He is my ally, I protect him he protects me. Even though he usually runs away from fights.”

“Answer me a few questions. Do you look forward to the weekend when you spend the night there?”

“…yes.”

“Do you look forward to spending time with him in general?”

“Yes.”

“Do you enjoy those times?”

“Yes.”

“When you guys are together do you dance?”

“You know we do.”

“Do you just dance with anyone voluntarily?”

“With you.”

“Anyone else?”

“No.”

“You sleep at his house?”

“Yes.”

“You’re open at his house?”

“What?”

“You don’t hide the fact that you’re a girl?”

“No I don’t. I don’t see the reason since he already knows the truth.”

“You guys talk about random things?”

“Yes.”

“Complain about his brother?”

“Yes.”

“About me?”

“Occasionally.”

“Wait, occasionally? What the hell do you complain about me for?”

“That’s a secret dear brother.”

“Little…never mind. He makes you smile?”

“…yes.”

He reaches over and takes her hands in his.

“Louise.” he says. She started slightly at hearing her female name from her brother. “I‘m pretty sure that your falling in love with him.”

Germany slumped in her seat.

“Are…are you sure?” she asks hesitantly.

Prussia nodded. “I‘m pretty sure.”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Romano ran his fingers through his hair.

“No way. I cannot be in love with…that person.” he finished weakly.

“Roma. You know you can trust me with the name of that person right?” Spain said hopefully.

Romano sighed and looked down at his untouched and rapidly cooling tea.

“It’s…the name of the person I said before.” he finally said quietly. “It’s Germany.”

Spain smiled as he sipped his own tea. “I‘m glad that you finally fell in love Roma, it makes me happy to see you happy.”

“I‘m not happy.”

Spain frowned. “Why not?”

“It’s fucking Germany!” Romano exploded. “I can’t be in love with her.”

His eyes widened as he realized what he had just said.

Spain looked surprised. “Wait a minute. You know?”

“…what?”

“You know that Germany is a girl?” Spain asked.

“I know how the hell do you know?” Romano demanded.

Spain tilted his head back and laughed. “Roma. Who do you think helped Prussia raise her? I was there for practically her whole childhood. It was also my idea that she pretend to be a man.”

“How did you find out though?” Spain asked.

“By accident.”

“And you love her.” Spain said softly.

Romano hesitated for another moment before looking up. Spain blinked in surprise; he had never seen his former charge look that vulnerable.

“Yeah, I do. I love Germany.”


	5. Chapter 5

Prussia and Germany sat on the roof of their house watching the stars and sharing a drink.

“Brother.” Germany said after minutes of silence. “What is love?”

Prussia was the only person she knew who could do a perfect combination of a snort and a chuckle as he brought his glass to his lips and drank. “Afraid that you’re asking the wrong person little bird of mine.”

“So you don’t love me?” Germany said with mock hurt.

Prussia chuckled as he moved the bottle towards her. “Don’t try guilt, it never works on me.”

Germany shook her head as she took the bottle and poured more into her glass. 

“So, what brought this talk of love?” gilbert asked lying back onto the roof.

“Just trying to figure out my own feelings.” she said as she rolled the glass in her hands.

“Towards South Italy?” gilbert asked with a smirk.

Germanys blush was enough of an answer.

“Well if you get Romano then I call dibs on Veneziano.” Prussia said. “Though I might need a crowbar to pry him away from you.”

“To tell you the truth I’m surprised that Romano knows about me and Veneziano doesn’t.” Germany said. “Veneziano sneaks into my bed, when I am showering, constantly touching and hugging me. And Romano…is Romano.”

Prussia chuckled again as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighted one.

Germany glanced at him. “You do know that our boss wants us to be models for a perfect human being, which includes not smoking?”

“He’s already given up hope on me the moment that he saw me. You’re supposed to be his ideal German man.” Prussia said without looking at her. “You want one?”

“Please.”

He lit another cigarette and passed it to Germany. She closed her eyes as she brought it to her mouth and inhaled.

“My body hurts.” Germany admitted quietly as she held the cigarette.

“War.” Prussia said simply. “Hurts everyone.”

“It’s not just the battle fronts or the inside rebellions.” Germany said watching the smoke from her cigarette drift lazily into the air. “It’s something else, something I can’t really explain.”

“Try.” Prussia advised.

Germany sighed as she slumped forward. “I feel…like…I’m being hanged. Or I’m inhaling these poisonous gases. Sometimes no matter how much I eat I’m still hungry.” her voice fell to a whisper. “I feel that I am with others in a room waiting to die yet at the same time I am the one who closed the door on the people waiting to die.”

Prussia gave a low whistle. “You do know our boss is hiding something from us, right? Maybe those things you’re feeling has something to do with that.”

“I don’t know.” Germany said bringing her cigarette back to her lips. “I’m just…worried.”

“It’s alright to tell me that you’re scared.” Prussia said. “I raised you, I’m your older brother, and one time I was your husband.”

“You do realize how horrible that sounds right?” Germany asked rhetorically. 

“All I know is that in the end our thoughts don’t really matter.” Prussia said. “We are tools to be used by our boss. Sucks ass but that’s how it has been since the first leader and personification.”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Romano tried to keep his hands steady as they gripped the gun. He cursed to himself, he had been through war hundreds of times and still each time he shook like a goddamn leaf.

Next to him was Veneziano who was shaking almost uncontrollably. With each blast of a bomb he flinched and gave small gasps.

A mixture of emotions swam through Romano at the sight of his brother. Disapproval, shame, protectiveness, hatred, disgust, pity.

“Come on.” Romano urged Veneziano to move. “You know how to shoot so do it at anyone who isn’t our allies.”

Veneziano nodded as he blinked his tear filled eyes. He looked entirely too young and innocent at the moment. 

Romano felt another wave of disgust wash over him. They continued to run forward, dodging bullets and staying together. The sounds of guns firing and the bombs felling were practically deafening. Every handful of seconds Romano would glance to his side to make sure Veneziano was still there and unhurt.

They hid behind the remains of a building as they reloaded. Romano ignored the soft cries coming from Veneziano who was shaking so that he could barely hold the gun, instead Romano focused on keeping his hands straight as he reloaded.

“Germany.” Veneziano whimpered. “Germany.”

“Germanys not here.” Romano snapped, feeling his stomach drop. “He’s not here.”

“He would protect us.” Veneziano said his voice shaking.

 _‘No, he wouldn’t.’_ Romano thought to himself. _‘But she would.’_

“Stay focused!” Romano snapped. “Germanys not here, we are. Now focus!”

In an answer Veneziano eyes widened and he let out a whimper.

“What?” Romano demanded. “What?”

He whirled around and was rewarded with a gun mere centimeters away from between his eyes. 

“Hello there.” came the triumphant voice of England.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
“Seriously, the way they were sitting there out in the open and chatting. It’s almost as if they were asking me to capture them!” England boasted.

Romano gritted his teeth as he shifted and tried to get his arms free. No such luck, it seemed that England still remembered plenty of knots from his pirate days. Next to him Veneziano was shaking even more.

“We’re not going to hurt either one of you.” France said patiently before smirking and saying “You’re just bait of course, for Germany to come here.”

Veneziano perked up at Germanys name.

England was walking around the room with his hands behind his back. “It’s really just a matter of time before Germany comes and then we’ll-” he was cut off suddenly as he walked in front of the only window in the room. A bullet broke through the window and embedded itself into Englands head. England immediately fell to the ground and laid there motionless.

“England!” France yelled running to the now dead body. The moment he came into view of the window a second bullet had broken through the window. France joined his friend on the ground.

Mere seconds afterwards the door to the room opened and Germany entered. He sighed as he walked to the brothers and slid his knife out of his pocket and started to cut away the rope.

“Will there be a time when the two of you go into battle without me and I won’t have to rescue you?” Germany asked rhetorically. He glanced at France and England. “Russia will come soon and when he finds them he’ll know to take the bullets out so they can come back to life.”

As Germany freed the two a third bullet came through the window and buried itself in the wall above Germanys head.

“Brother, stop wasting bullets.” Germany said bringing the radio at his side up. The only answer was Prussias unmistakable laughter.

Germany shook his head as Veneziano and Romano stood and massaged their limbs which had been contained in the rope. Veneziano all but threw himself at Germany and curled his arms around the other happily.

Germany embraced the smaller man. “Good to see you too.” he said dryly. “Are either of you hurt?”

Romano shook his head silently as Veneziano, and Romano really hoped that it was his imagination, _purred_ into Germanys chest.

“Alright then let’s go.” Germany said. “I have a car waiting for us.”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Romano was surprisingly silent the entire car ride as he sat in the backseat. Occasionally Germany would glance at him in the rearview mirror in concern however he never said anything. Veneziano filled the car with enough talk for the three of them.

“Can you drop me off here, Germany?” Veneziano asked tapping on the window with his finger. “I haven’t seen big brother Spain in a while.”

Wordlessly Germany pulled to the side and unlocked the door.

“Grazie for everything Germany.” Veneziano said sweetly as he leaned over and kissed Germany on the cheek, a little too close to the mouth for it to be an accident or platonic.

Fire erupted in Romanos stomach and chest as red overtook his vision. Hatred, anger, and some unknown emotion threw their heads up and roared, nearly deafening him.

Then, as suddenly as it had came, it disappeared as he leaned back in his seat.

It didn’t really matter what Romano felt, or thought, or did. Because Veneziano wanted the same thing. And in the end Veneziano always won. Because he was desired, not Romano. Because Veneziano was liked, not Romano. Because Veneziano was perfect.

And Romano wasn’t.

“Romano?” Germany twisted herself to look at Romano directly. “Are you alright?”

Romano nodded as he leaned against his window. “Just drive. I’ll get out where you do.”

“I’ll drive you to your home.” Germany said turning her attention back in front and driving once more.

“I said that I’ll get off where you get off.” Romano said. 

“It’s no trouble to me.” Germany said. “I won’t be able to come over this weekend, I have a meeting with my boss and some of his men, so this will be the only time that I get to spend alone with you.”

“Sorry about that.” Romano said. His hands were curling into fists and he could feel the beginning of a sneer coming onto his face.

“Sorry for what?” Germany asked slightly confused.

“Sorry that you have to spend time alone with me.” Romano said sneering at her. “I know that I’m bad company and all.”

“I don’t think your bad company.” Germany protested. “We’ve been together before and you’ve always been very nice.”

Romano gave a curt laugh. “Well yeah! Because that’s how I was raised! To be nice and a gentleman to girls.”

He saw Germany give him a sharp look in the rearview mirror. “If I had to say, I believe that you enjoyed my company more than the fact that I am…physically a woman.”

“A woman.” Romano repeated. “That’s rich.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Germany snapped at him. “What’s gotten into you?”

“You call yourself a woman.” Romano sneered. “But to tell you the truth you are the most pathetic excuse for a woman I have ever seen.”

“I mean women look good in dresses and skirts and they like flowers and cute things.” Romano continued. “You are nothing like that. You are nothing like a woman at all. An abomination actually is what you are.”

“Shut. Your mouth. Before I shut it for you.” Germany warned. 

“Have you ever considered something?” Romano said continuing as if he hadn’t heard her. “Just why is it that no one has ever questioned you? That you’ve been able to play dress up like a man and no one would be none the wiser?”

“Means you must be a pretty ugly woman if you can pass as a man and no one would even look twice at you.” Romano sneered. “And in truth I have never seen a more ugly woman in my life. Hell I think Austrias women are more desirable.”

“Get out.” Germany said her hand going towards the gun at her side. “Get out before I do something I don’t want to do.”

Romano smirked. “Well you might not look like a woman at all but you sure act like one. All emotional and over reacting.”

He didn’t wait for a comeback as he slid out of the car, slamming extra hard on the door to make sure the car shook, and walked away.


End file.
